Between Jest and Earnest

To my ear, "writer's block" sounds much better than "procrastination."

So yea, I'm suffering from some writer's block this week--just like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Indeed, my "plan" for this summer is to finally produce a draft of my history of religion and sports in America. After a sabbatical last fall, I was able to get a good chunk of it "finished."

But then the spring semester started...

As each unproductive day slipped by, I kept telling myself that I would get to it over summer. I found this comforting at the time. But then finals came and went, and graduation marked the end of another academic year.

Now, finally, I have returned to my basement office to get some stuff done. And yet... I'm having a hell of a time getting started.

To put it bluntly, I am stuck. And no amount of guilt, shame, or anxiety is prodding me forward.

Why?

I suppose that I am experiencing some transition sickness. During the semester, days find a way …

Stewing on Course Evaluations

Course evaluations. I looked at mine on Monday. I've been stewing ever since.

Yes, stewing is the right word. The recipe is rather simple. First, you toss in all of the stages of grief, then you add a dash of self-doubt and self-loathing.

My numbers were fine(ish). A little lower than in the past. But I did make some changes to the course. So revisit, revise, and try again.

I can handle the numbers. But the comments... Actually, it's one comment. One comment that is literally surrounded by positive comments. But one comment, nonetheless. The theme is something to the order of I HATE YOU!

It's been a while since I got one of those. And I can rationalize past it. I'm not perfect--not at all. I can accept that some students just won't like me. It happens.

But this doesn't stop the "feeling like a fraud" stew.

Instead, all of my worse insecurities have come to the surface. Specifically, there is my persistent fear of becoming irrelevant, of becoming Tha…

30 Minutes A Day

Completed day 1 of 30 days of writing for *at least* 30 minutes a day. Puritans and sports--some Augustine tossed in there. #BetterThanNothing #FinishTheDamnBook — Art Remillard (@ArtRemillard) August 27, 2018 Last May, I was on a radio show talking about religion and sports. At one point, the host asked me when my book would be finished.

"The end of summer," I assured him.

This wasn't an act of academic wish fulfillment. I actually believed this was possible.

All I had to do was stay on task.

[he clears his throat]

All I had to do was stay on task.

The summer started well. Chapters were improving. My argument was developing. My story was becoming coherent.

But then... stuff happened.

Everything stopped.

And the longer I stopped writing, the harder it was to open those documents. The ideas that were once so clear in my head were fading.

The anxiety accumulated. Will I ever really finish it? Or will it finish me?

When classes resumed, I found comfort in the rhythm of old r…

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