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Showing posts from September, 2018

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30 Minutes A Day

on September 27, 2018

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Course evaluations. I looked at mine on Monday. I've been stewing ever since.

Yes, stewing is the right word. The recipe is rather simple. First, you toss in all of the stages of grief, then you add a dash of self-doubt and self-loathing.

My numbers were fine(ish). A little lower than in the past. But I did make some changes to the course. So revisit, revise, and try again.

I can handle the numbers. But the comments... Actually, it's one comment. One comment that is literally surrounded by positive comments. But one comment, nonetheless. The theme is something to the order of I HATE YOU!

It's been a while since I got one of those. And I can rationalize past it. I'm not perfect--not at all. I can accept that some students just won't like me. It happens.

But this doesn't stop the "feeling like a fraud" stew.

Instead, all of my worse insecurities have come to the surface. Specifically, there is my persistent fear of becoming irrelevant, of becoming Tha…

Feeling Overwhelmed? Try Taking a Nap

What is a productive response to feeling overwhelmed? I'm asking for a friend, of course. I just consulted Dr. Google on this one, and let's just say...

The response is overwhelming.

I did, however, find one article wherein the author lists four helpful steps:
Take a deep breathMake a listCreate a clear actionable planStop multitasking All of this makes sense.

As I have said before, I often find myself losing my breath during the day. My chest tightens, my eyes squint, and my jaw clenches.

It's all part of a process of going inward, of shrinking into my own space. I haven't imploded yet.

Yet.

Still, deep and intentional breaths help.

And so do lists--to write down the tasks, and have reasonable and achievable goals.

Then there is the avoidance of multitasking. When I'm writing, I do best when I shut everything down. All it takes is one email to pull me away.

So yes, I agree. These are all healthy steps to managing feelings of being overwhelmed.

Very healthy.

But I …

30 Minutes A Day

Completed day 1 of 30 days of writing for *at least* 30 minutes a day. Puritans and sports--some Augustine tossed in there. #BetterThanNothing #FinishTheDamnBook — Art Remillard (@ArtRemillard) August 27, 2018 Last May, I was on a radio show talking about religion and sports. At one point, the host asked me when my book would be finished.

"The end of summer," I assured him.

This wasn't an act of academic wish fulfillment. I actually believed this was possible.

All I had to do was stay on task.

[he clears his throat]

All I had to do was stay on task.

The summer started well. Chapters were improving. My argument was developing. My story was becoming coherent.

But then... stuff happened.

Everything stopped.

And the longer I stopped writing, the harder it was to open those documents. The ideas that were once so clear in my head were fading.

The anxiety accumulated. Will I ever really finish it? Or will it finish me?

When classes resumed, I found comfort in the rhythm of old r…

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